She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
