you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I sprained my soul last night
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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