Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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