Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
