This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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