moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize