so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
