then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
