There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
