What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
