now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
