I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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