you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize