i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
