Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
