I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
