Banned from zoo.
Again?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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