Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
