I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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