Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
