Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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