C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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