hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
