I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
