I didn't shave. On purpose
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
