make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
