her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize