My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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