I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
