better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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