i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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