I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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