it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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