i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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