I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So squirting runs in the family.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
