Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You ate ashes out of my bong
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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