i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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