what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
