remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
