sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
