it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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