A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
