i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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