So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
