Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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