I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
