Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I need to calm my uterus...
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
