You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
