you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
