some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
