yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
