Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
