he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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