STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
