I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
