there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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