why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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