So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
