There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
